Bang! Now We're Even
by XxXMiiDNiGhTXxX
Summary: The Akatsuki turned into kittens? Problem. The Akatsuki somehow ending up in a different universe? BIG problem. Oh wait, can't get any worse, right? Well, what if I said they were put into the hands of three not so normal girls? MAJOR PROBLEM!


Bang! Now We're Even

"Waldo! Why, Waldo? Why?" Elli shakily sobbed, on the verge of tears. Her innocent blue eyes, wide eyed with fear and confusion. As a reply for her question, she got a hard elbow to her cringing body, making me wince. That was more than enough than Elli could take, tears soon started streaming down her round little face. She closed her eyes shut and tried preventing herself from hyperventilating out of fear. I felt a pang of sadness contain inside of me. I didn't like seeing Elli like this, and if we were to live after this, I'm sure she'll be scarred for life, or at least for a long period of time. She was such a fragile person, and much too naive. I sighed. Now, I bet your wondering who the hell is Waldo. But we'll get to that later on.

"Don't fucking touch her, you damn sadist-clown- mask-wearing-freak!" The foul mouthed red head threatened. Her coal black eyes glaring madly at the culprit as she wiggled, attempting to untangle herself against the rough ropes. Unlike Elli, Valerie was not so timid. She was a spunky girl to mess with. With that, she earned the title 'Valiant Valerie'. Her respond also earned her a harsh kick to the stomach. "You asshole!" Valerie cursed out of instinct.

"Shut the fuck up," The raspy voice snapped, "There's many ways this can go you little fucker. You can shut the fuck up and do as I say, then maybe, just maybe, you'll fucking live through this. Or, you can be a bitch and get fucking killed. Understand?" The red striped shirted man snarled, motioning up his gun and aiming it toward Valerie's head. Well, someone needs to wash their mouth with soap.

"Valerie, please, just stop." I pleaded. Surprisingly, my voice was steady. Which I have no idea why, considering I was scared as hell right now. Well, which of course was only natural. When your tied up and being robbed, threatened to be killed, you don't exactly feel like the happiest person around. Valerie violently puffed out air through her nose, showing she was not happy about this at all. She glared at the floor, but stayed quiet. Thank god.

[AN: Let's play a game. Guess how many times I'll say Dark Vader here.]

Right across the room, I heard a meow. I look at the open living room entrance and see Dark Vader peaking into the room. Yes, I said Dark Vader. No, not the actual Dark Vader. Dark Vader was one of my many cats. A spark of relief washed over me. Weird, right? Well, it just so happens that Dark Vader isn't like many ordinary cats. No, Dark Vader was actually a ninja. Insert confusion here. But no, not just any ninja, THE Itachi Uchiha. [AN: Did you guess it? 6!]

Itachi watched the culprit surreptitiously [AN: Means sneakily] He then eyed the cup of water that sat on the table across me. Ah, I see what his objective was now. He was one clever cookie. Speaking of cookies, I saw Cookie. Cookie as in Kakuzu, yes, I know. Terrible name, but I was not responsible for it, therefore I'm not to be blamed.

Itachi then started to carefully make his way towards the water. Halfway there, he glanced at me. I nodded, I assumed it was to reassure me that it would be ok, but no. Right after I nodded and just sat there, he started looking at me confused. He quickly looked back at the water and then back to me. I mentally slapped myself for not understanding sooner. I guess I made a face of realization, because Itachi then rolled his eyes. I was a bit disappointed that he didn't do it to know I was ok. I guess it was because, I admit, I had a bit of a little crush on him. But hey, I'm not only one! [AN: Damn straight.] I soon quickly realized that right now wasn't the time to think of this, so I nodded and then made my move, I pounced forward, knocking over the cup of water, drenching Itachi.

"Hey!" 'Waldo' yelled of surprise as the room started to fill up with smoke. He quickly grabbed me by the collar and drastically started to cough.

"Close your eyes!" I yelled, warning Valerie and Elli for their own good. We have already went though this. Yet the first time, we hadn't known what was happening so we made the mistake of not running away in the first place, so it cost us our innocence.

As the smoke started to clear, Itachi's true -naked- form appeared, as I expected. I quickly looked away, blushing a bit. I also peaked at Elli and Valerie, making sure they weren't looking. Sure, they weren't children, but they were still only 16 years old! As expected, Elli tightly closed her eyes. As for Valerie, it looked to me as if she wasn't sure what to do. Be a good girl and close her eyes, or sneak a peak at the hot naked Uchiha and get away with it. Knowing Valerie, I quickly yelled "Don't you dare."

Valerie pouted but closed her eyes shut. "What are you? My mother?" She muttered, throwing some sarcasm at the end.

"Technically, yes." I said with a smirk. Which, was partly true. Though, I wasn't really her mother (though I did act like it sometimes) More like older guardian to be exact. It was legal, I was offically 18 years old. I was also Elli's guardian as well. As I said this, I felt someone untying me. Which I instantly knew who it was. Itachi of course. "Uh...Are you decent?" I asked feeling a bit uncomfortable. I swore I could have felt him sigh. I must have super powers, yes, that's it. "Well, you know where the clothes are." I said, feeling like I was talking more to myself than to an actual person.

"Hn"

"You speak!" I praised, grinning like a total dork.

"Hn"

"Ah... This is good. One word. Yes, we're making progress here." I muttered and stretched my hands in the air once he released me. I started waiting, once I heard the Uchiha upstairs, that was my cue to open my eyes. I looked around and saw that 'Waldo' was tied up and unconcious. I looked a little bit to the right and saw poor little Elli quietly crying. Her blonde curls dangling over her face. I looked a little bit more to the right and saw Valerie nibbling on the rope, her short choppy hair looking wild as always. I sighed, "Hold on, Valerie. I'll come and untie you."

I quickly rubbed my wrists that were once tied up, and now burning. I mentally cursed at Waldo when I passed by him. As I started untying Valerie I heard poofs coming from upstairs. I assumed the rest of the Akatsuki had changed forms already. I finally released Valerie.

"Ah...Fuck yeah..." She drawled and sighed of relief. Her calm posture immediately tensed when she looked at Waldo. She cracked her knuckles with a bitter glare directed at him.

"Wait- No, don't do anything to him," I said. "Or atleast- Not yet." I said before she could object.

I made my way over to Elli. "Elli... It's ok.. Everything is fine now." I soothed, gently rubbing her back. I moved her blonde curls from blocking her tear covered face. No reply. I sighed and started untying her. She shakily got up and as soon as she saw Waldo, she shuttered.

"He's unconcious." I reassured her.

She backed away slowly, as if he might wake up and attack her. "No worries, Elli. I'll make sure to get him back for you." Valerie spoke up with a smirk on her face.

Waldo started to wake up, the Akatsuki then made an appearance in the living room.

"What th-the hell happened?" Waldo yelled, violently shaking. He just witnessed a cat turn into a human, I would have freaked out too.

"I suggest you stay quiet." The leader, Pein, said sharply. He was wearing dark gray button up shirt with black pants to go with. Who knew Pein could look so casual!

"Sh-shut the fuck up!"

Pein simply glare, "I suppose we have no choice but to get rid of him."

"I second that." Valerie sneered.

"You motherfucker." Waldo spat, glaring at Valerie. He's breathing started to move at a faster pace.

"Payback's a bitch, huh?" Valerie said. "Oh, lookie here." She walked up to him and grabbed his pistol and examined it. "May I do the honors, Pein?" She asked sweetly.

"I'm afraid, no. Zetsu will be getting rid of him. Considering he can get it done faster and cleaner." Pein stated.


End file.
